February 5th, 2003 - "its all about the craze"

wow. i have not posted an entry other than a quiz in a long ass time. jen is sleeping right now on the top bunk. she is making weird breathing noises, i am getting freaked out man... haha just kidding jen cuz i know you read this more than the average person!! mmm my stomach hurts and i figured maybe its cuz i am hungry and then i realized that there was no way that was possible because i am so largely overweight. i am going to work out tonite. it will be my 3rd night at the bubble, however not consecutively. i can't believe it is only 10:15 am and i am awake. i need to get my life in order. my parents told me not to come back after this passed weekend. thats unfortunate. i really like my bed and having no curfew. i dont know who i will stay with when i go home because i dont deal well with curfews and most of my friends have them. my favorite bra finally gave in the other day. the wire was like coming out of the goddamn thing. i was pissed and this one is not nearly as comfortable. i need to stop drinking soda. i realize up here that i have far more of a bev deficiency then when i am at home. and i drink too much soda. i think i had heartburn or something. i get this weird feelingin my throat and below my throat area... and i can describe it as a burning sensation, but it happens quite frequently. can that be from soda? i totally think it is. i really hope tweth and briana come up this weekend with some alcohol..haha that would be awesome. kelcey has a blow up bed, and jen won't be here so it will be plenty of room and that will be nice. i feel gross. i don't feel good and it is wicked early. once i get this science class at 11 over with then i am napping until about 3 because my last class is at 4 and it is the best class. college writing is what it is and jen, kelcey, tim, renee, and michelle are all in that class. there are 5 people in there alone from cape cod. it rawks my fucking socks off. grr i am hungry. but all we have to eat is like cookies and stuff. can't have that this early. i should go to breakfast but either everyone else is in class, or sleeping. as they right well should be. i'm talking to briana online right now. i am glad she is home. we had our spats, and we realized we don't agree on everything but why should we let that be a reason for us to hate each other? as erin says.. free love man. as far as other people... well tweth- i just want her to get her head on straight. DON'T BE LIKE ME! there i said it. why do people wanna be like me? i am a burn out thats gonna go nowhere. its unfortunate, but this is the path i have chosen. sure i could shape up, and hopefully i will, but for the time being its just easier to be smart. uhh as far as the old guys go, she knows how i feel about that. i think they are using her and she needs to settle down with someone that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. how about.. eddie- well i dont know what to say. i feel really bad about all the shit thats going on with him right now ya know? i mean i cant help but feel bad. i let him know i was there to talk and thats all i can do. i think he might hate me a little bit cuz when i called this weekend he said he would call me back to at least let me know what was going on with him but he never did, not after text messages or anything, plus he doesnt talk to me online anymore.. ahh well maybe he is freaking out. parents suck. i dont even know why mine hate me?! anyway what else can i say... last nite at like 1am when we were coming back from a bong and ride alex, dannielle, me, and katie saw justin, eli, and brenden walk into the crew boat hut thing.. sketchy business... why go all the way down there to smoke a bowl? especially since eli has a car.. they are weirdos. eli is the best out of all of them cuz he is one funny motherfucker. brenden is a huge sketchball and justin is being real shady. dr. thunder is kicking my ass.. ugh i have class in like 20 minutes... but its only a 50 minute class and kelc is in it with me.. yo monday and tuesday kelc missed all her classes and work.. and she slept all day yesterday, yet she is not sick. p.s. dont tell mallory cuz she will rat on kelcey as usual. i miss being home. i am gonna come home for the 3-day weekend, which is also tara's dad's wedding. i was really excited about the reception but i have nothing to wear and no money!! yeah i shoulda thought of that awhile ago, but now nan is in florida and i am freaking out, once again. well i think i am gonna go in search of some food and then get my hair did so i can go to class.. thanks for all those who actually read this, and hey.. reply or something.. peace out bitches