i think im perpetually tired. when i dont get sleep im less tired then when i actually get some quality hours. whats up with that? i guess it catches up with you, huh.
so i have been drinking too much lately. and you know, i dont think i have been drinking too frequently, i just mean that when i do drink, i drink A LOT. that was never my style. so this is weird. and yeah, i have been smoking WAY less weed. now i know all of you think im converting to booze crew, but i want you to know that i may drink more now and smoke less than i have, but its all about whats in your heart. and i shall forever say that weed will always prevail over alcohol in my mind. especially cuz i never get in trouble when im stoned, but i do fucking stupid shit drunk all the time. for instance, apparently last night, after drinking 2.5 bottles of champagne to myself, then smoking, i thought it would be a good idea to badger keegan about calling me back. he knew i was gonna be asleep so he said he wasnt gonna call me back. apparently i was being real irrational and probably whining to him and all that.. saying he didnt have to talk to me anymore if he didnt want to.. and all that bullshit. i think he hated me a little last night. oh wait, it wasnt hate.. it was an immense dislike. i guess i should be fortunate that he loves me enough to overlook my bullshit. although i still think i wasnt being as irrational as he thinks i was. oh trouble in paradise. well i guess its not even really trouble, we arent even fighting. i just feel shitty about it. : (
so yeah. keegan worked till 4am wednesday morning, and drove all the way down to my house so he could come look at an apartment with me at noon wednesday. he didnt even get here till 5:30am. and i took 2 hours outta the middle of my workday to drive to osterville and wait in the driveway for 20 min before we realized..yeah, we got blown off. so i emailed the realtor who wrote it down for thursday by accident. whoops. can you come at noon today? fuck no woman i already told you that my fucking boyfriend doesnt even live on cape, and i work 9-5. i hate people that think since they fucked up that i can just make time for them. so i went looking for other apartments online. thing is, im such a pussy that i wont call places. i only look for people that can be emailed. i know, lame. and i will have to get over it. but- i did find a gorgeous ocean edge condo with everything included for a grand a month. im talking washer, dryer, dishwasher... its got its own fucking patio. anyway- i want it bad but i highly doubt im gonna get it.
i think rob is gonna give me tomorrow afternoon off. that would be stellar. and if i sell some more domain names i get an illin' bonus. i have 5 grand in my account right now. more money than ever before. thanks mcdonald's stocks! im so glad tomorrow is friday.
jeni and i are going walking west dennis beach today. finally an acceptable day for it. i need it bad. i went off atkins. im pretty sure for good. its really ridiculous, i lost the same amount of weight from just not eating. so i think im gonna excersize for once in my life, eat very little, and love the fruit and veggies of the world, a lot. i missed fruit. hah.
i got into a spat with ryan yesterday. he basically told me im not the person he thought i was. something about being a hypocrite or some shit. but he had nothing to back it up. i was more pissed than offended, cuz he didnt even know me enough in the first place to pass judgement, i guess. regardless, like i have said time and again, fighting is for bitches, right?
its thirsty thursday. but i should probably slow down on my booze intake as i have mentioned earlier. but will i? guess we shall find out. i do really love champagne. i need to pay my phone bill. badly. and probably like right now. maybe thats what i'll do. i know i should be working. and i am, sorta. but this is boring. and repetitive. i just wanna take a nap. i think there might be something wrong with me. there are some really important things i have to do but i am lacking intense motivation. i still havent gotten my car fixed from like 2 months ago... i need to go to family planning and get my ass on birth control... i need to call some places about getting an apartment... i need to call verizon and find out why my bill is over 600 bucks... i just paid my cable bill from blueberry lane TODAY which was obviously quite overdue... i havent paid my credit card or my insurance yet this month that was due on the 13th.. havent started cleaning nans house yet... slacking. what do i do with my time? i wish i could tell you. im convinced i was put on this earth to hang out. and hanging out is such a serious priority to me. i know there are other things im supposed to do too, but i forgot. oy vey.
my right hemp anklet just bit the dust. oops, off to dead zone later to get a new one. and maybe a new skirt... maybe i should go shopping. no- im a serious retard. i gutta stop. i got a new phone by the way, so everyone should gimme their numbers if i dont know them by heart. im gonna teach erin condon to drive standard so soon. im stoked. alright i severely gotta go. love you all. <3
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