June 30th, 2005 - "quite frankly..."

so keegan and i went to dinner at my parents house last night. and keegan got a prime example of my mothers total blatant retardation. so here is the scenario: there's this bouquet of flowers on our kitchen counter. she tells me they are the most beautiful flowers she has ever seen. then she proceeds to show me how the flowers in the bouquet are all glittery, and she asked if i could see it. i told her no from the angle i was at. so she brought them closer to me. i was quite amazed to see that the flowers were in fact sprinkled with glitter. it looked really neat. so she tells me she has never seen flowers like that before, and that she didnt notice the sparkles the day before. me and keegan laugh, assuming she has got to be joking if she means what we think she means. come to find out- she was not joking- the woman actually truly believed that the glitter on those flowers occured naturally. SHE ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT GLITTER OCCURS IN NATURE. so then we couldnt help but laugh at the poor blonde woman HYSTERICALLY.. then of course me and my dad cracked jokes on how the glitter on my eyes may have occured naturally while i was sleeping or something. hilarious. she also tried to convince me the other day that smoking cigarettes is proven to make you MORE stressed. the woman is unbelievable. so i told her i absolutely refused to believe that without proof. her proof was that in her science class at arlington high.. they were supposed to write something, go outside and smoke a cigarette, then come back and write something else. apparently you can tell by your writing how stressed you are.. like your hands shake more and stuff like that. OK. A. what high school requires or even allows you to take time out of class to go smoke a cigarette? and B. how the fuck does writing something and comparing handwriting measure levels of stress? so if anyone is wondering why i do or say dumb shit from time to time, you should have no doubt where i get it from. hah.

also i realized yesterday that i talk weird. i have been told many times that i have an interesting way of speaking, but i never really thought that was true. but keegan tells me yesterday that since the first day he met me he thought the way i talked was so awesome. that i completely put my own spin on the way things are phrased. i personally wouldnt call it awesome, but its funny. what i noticed when he said that is my love for adverbs. think of it. how often do i use the words: literally. obviously. clearly. generally. likely. personally. interestingly. unbelievably. really. truly. awesomely. uncontrollably. lovely. quickly. intensely. fabulously. crazily. wildly. frankly. absolutely. loudly. queitly. lovingly. unfortunately. blatantly. luckily. weirdly. oddly. sadly. ridiculously. and the like there of. see its really true. i effing love those adverbs man. if you have any others that i failed to mention than feel free to comment with them. thanks. lol.

fantastically enough (oh look another one!) i have tomorrow thru tuesday off. i dont come back to work till wednesday. sweet. tonight i think im gonna go see roots down below at pufferbellies. tomorrow night im def gonna go see roots down below and badfish at the beachcomber in welfleet. im wicked pysched about that one. but if its 21+ im gonna freak the fuck out. i gutta ask my grandmother's nurse for her id tonight. hopefully she will give it to me. tomorrow i get my car appraised. i was just told that because of the cocksucking bitch that hit my car did not have insurance, they do not waive my deductable. so im fucking so pissed. its unreal.

everyone should come to my apartment and see it. i think erin and lisa have been the only ones to see the finished product. its so fucking cute its quite unbelievable. alright i really gutta go. duty calls. love you all. call me.