February 9th, 2005 - "this one is for jeni"

jeni wanted me to post. i guess my life amuses her or something. haha well at least it amuses someone, right?
umm so last night i passed out when i got home from work from 6pm-12:30am. when i awoke, i had realized i managed to sleep thru a shitload of missed calls and texts. people must have thought i was ignoring them- def not the case. so i got up and started returning phone calls. erin was awake. talked to ryan. asked us to meet him and keegan half way. so we did. met up at about 1:30-40ish... drove around plymouth/plympton/carver/middleboro area for about an hour. got home at about 3am. lisa came over to sleep. talked to erin about white noise. started watching conan... tv went to static.. i freaked out. erin had to sleep in my bed with me cuz she was so freaked out.. and she didnt even see the movie.. yeah, its bad.
going to see nan tonight with briana. hopefully she will have her puppy. speaking of puppy, the boys and i are getting one when we move in together. a miniature boxer. sooo cute. his name is gonna be Fella Shea O. fella for short. say it fast and realize that if done fast enough it sounds like fellatio... excellent.
another bong bit the dust. yet was strategically placed back together in my room. coincidence? i think not.
im about to list $15,000 worth of god damn coins. gonna kill myself.
im atkins for over a week and a half so far and going strong. i have lost 30 pounds in the past 2 months. how absolutely necessary! imma be a new person by summer, you just wait. i know i say that every year, but its fucking happening this time. i feel it.
keegan's learning to play my guitar. he has awesome effort. he is doing quite well and im totally into it. PLUS now he can drive standard. so intense. that fucking kid is trying to make me fall in love with him i swear. lol.
anyway- so here i am. inner turmoil. gutta love it. i get butterflies in my stomach and a nervous feeling a lot during the day. hmm wonder why. whats a girl to do? ahhh- who the fucks knows. i wonder whats gonna happen by july... and oh god i hope its good. can someone please write me instructions on how to get what i want without fucking anything up? that would be great thanks.
love you all- well most of you <3>