September 19th, 2005 - "russ always comes up with fun stuff ; )"

concerts:
i can't say enough about concerts. very rarely will you see me soberly psyched up to an intense level. i do not need drugs or alcohol, i just need loud music... right in front of me. some people worship god, i worship live music. when i see a concert its similar to god coming down from the heavens and speaking to me. or you - definetely not me. but my point is - i cant even tell you the overwhelmingly amazing feeling i feel when i can see a group of people i love and admire so much - doing what they do because it comes naturally to them, and filling me such excitement and happiness that i can barely breathe. yeah, that's pretty much it.
drinking:
i like to drink. but i don't love to drink. i will be 21 in less than 2 months- then my answer may change. i had my most low moments in my life when i was drinking a lot, and so have many others. but it is really nice to be able to come home and have a cocktail. or to let loose and drink too much just so you can go wild and have an excuse. everyone loves to drink nowadays, so why the hell not? it brings people together, and thats what i like most.
driving:
driving is my meditation. loud music. fresh air. me having total control over my car because it is a stick, is quite liberating. especially when im angry... to pop that shit into first and rev the engine up to 4,000 rpm's and fuckin drop it thru second and third like its my job. brings me a sigh of relief. reminds me that i have control over something in my life. and it feels good.
eating:
do i really need to elaborate? i am hardcore one of those comfort food kinda people. i love food. thats probably why i am clearly overweight. and since i love food, i feel like i am cheating myself by dieting. haha. its such bullshit but i think my mind deters me from dieting. and i just wish i liked more foods, or foods that are better for you. but no- d'angelos, dunkies, mcdonald's, wendy's, and kream n' kone have been my food choices for quite some time now. its disgusting, but oh-so good.
friends:
my friends (including boyfriend since he is one of my very best friends) take priority. over family. over job. over myself. if it was not for my friends i would not be here. they are all special and significant to me in one way, or many ways. they have all impacted my life so intensely that if they were taken from me i would probably suffocate. they are my total oxygen. its true. my values may be a little screwed but i know that the love i feel for my friends is the truest kind.
laughing:
laughing is the best medicine. and i truly believe that. a day without laughter is a definete day wasted.
making out:
making out and cuddling is incredible. it makes me feel loved, safe, attractive... just wonderful. things i don't get to feel everyday. well - i feel most of that except for the attractive part everyday.. hah. it makes me super happy. but i have never liked making out more than i do now.. its all about that person.
movies:
i have seen more movies in the past year than i have in my entire life. guess that's what happens when your boyfriend works at 3 different movie theaters just in the time you have known him (just over a year). yeah, im totally up to date on the movie scene. and boy do i love movie theater popcorn!