February 11th, 2005 - "oh dear god"

i have been posting a lot lately. must be something on my mind. so here is my horoscope today:
SCORPIO (2/11/05): Not everyone will get what you are trying to do, but the ones who do will be in your corner to help you every step of the way. Love is apparent, so don't miss out on an opportunity to spend time with that special someone. 5 stars.
hmmm. interesting. love is apparent, eh? suure. anyways.
so of course i got the valentines-day-is-monday blues. who doesnt? i mean of course i am lucky in the sense that i get to spend valentines day with 2 wonderful men...<3.... BUT lets be logical here. its all platonic.. so its not like there is gonna be the traditional valentines day huggy kissy bullshit. not like thats what im used to or anything- since u all know the last time i had a relationship was HIGH SCHOOL. but it would be nice to either be miserable and alone like im used to.. or...well- it would just be nice to have that traditional shit for once i guess : ( i literally make myself sound so pathetic... and its sorta coming off as a cry for attention.. oh well, my faithful readers know i mean well. hah. i think im starting to creep myself out a little bit. but on the brighter note i got crafty for my little valentine boys this year. i hope they like what im making them cuz mad effort is involved. and as many of you know, i dont do effort. hehe.
i fucking better get roses this year. i ALWAYS get roses cuz everyone knows those are my favorite. and since i cant have chocolate (atkins) i better get DOUBLE the roses. LoL. well SOMEONE sure is demanding. sorry, but i love them.
i had an intense dream last night. ask me about it if you really care. not SO intense, but i literally woke up and thought it happened. so- sorta intense, right?
tonights events:
work on v-day gifts until keegan gets here
nap with keegan for 1-2 hours
let keegan practice driving my car
get booze and mixers
start drinking and listen to keegan work on playing "got you where i want you" by the flys, and "wish you were here" by pink floyd on guitar. *god* i love those songs.
porn filming shall resume this weekend. been too long. TGIF.
today: phone bill and excise tax gets paid. ugh.
i heard something about triple stacked supermans tonight. better happen. god dammit.