Thursday, August 20, 2009

August 18th, 2003 - "who even knows at this point, eh"

well here i am... briana's pad. i like this place a lot, its very comfy like. unfortunately i have to sit here and smoke camel filters cuz they didnt have fucking lights at cumbies.. ugh. well i guess my current situation is.. my mom fired me from the cheer connection (guess i wasnt cheery enough), then i got kicked out of the house. i havent seen my family in 7 days, and i have talked to them once. its weird. i mean i miss them and stuff but the hate overcomes me. i should go check on my brother and sister...i dont know what to do at this point. i need a job most importantly cuz i cant live like this anymore, i got a habit i need to feed. i am enrolled in college now, go me. i hope i do well this time. i think i might be moving into my grandmothers big house soon cuz i need somewhere to live and keep my shit. i am a very sad person. i went off atkins for a little while just cuz i cant afford that life style right now, and i think that makes me feel so much grosser and weaker as a person. briana's mom feeds hummingbirds and i think that is SO weird.. LoL.. haha just kidding briana since i know your gonna read this. briana and i are going to an opium den soon to die. that's gonna be fun. as soon as we get jobs and money and means of getting to an opium den, we are outta here. i dont know what i am doing today. we have been playing mad crazy games of uno lately. i am the uno nazi. i am talking to jordan rutherford right now, he is down for the opium den deal as well.. even tho he would never smoke. i need to get some money, i wish i hadf drugs, i could sell them too and make mad loot. ahh i so badly wanna die no one understands. the only reason i cant is cuz jen provost would fucking lose and i love her so much and i dont think she knows how much cuz i am not very verbal about how much people mean to me because i have been hurt so badly in the past.. but she is my bestest friend ever and if it wasnt for her i wouldnt be here right now and i hope she understands that <3>

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