August 22nd, 2002 - "what are you looking at?"

i am so depressed about leaving...leaving so soon. i just took everything off my walls..no posters..no boas...no pin-ups..no wands..no pictures..no patches...no cards...no nothing...just tacks, tape, glue, paint, and stuck on paper bits. just like when i moved in..down here..uh about 5 years ago..i wanted to paint my room black then..and we were gonna get cork boards so i could hang up all my posters...but that never worked out..so i hung them with glue thinking i would never take them down..all of them..with glue..all hanson by the way..and that wasnt a good idea..glue to wall..with paper? thats where the paper bits are from. its quite a travesty. i didnt even get to get hizzy in the mizzy tonite. well not in the mizzy..but i was hizzy a few times. i am tired. i dont wanna sleep in that room tonite..i cant even refer to it as my room anymore..there is nothing me about it. other than the fact that its still a mess. i also need to cancel my phone next week. thats gonna suck so bad. thats my final money spending task on cape cod. ahh cape cod how i hated you for so long yet cant bare to leave you now. i know you so well..wah. i am drinking an insane amount of dr. pepper tonite..oh i wish i had all day and then i would clean my room completely..the closet is next..*gulp*..my dad doesnt think they will allow that many shoes at college..so i guess i am ridding myself of a lot of clothes and shoes..amanda johnson make some room! this is my last weekend on cape cod..oh my fucking god i leave a week from saturday..and saturday is like a day and a half away. i need to do something crazy..i would go for the tongue peircing but jeni just did it and now it will look like i copied her. dammit..being 17 sucks a lot. lisa and adam are getting my a carton of lights for the new hampshire endeavor..i love them somtimes..ugh i hafta do laundry in college..and i need to wash all my blankets before i leave..they are insanely discolored..ew. so i don't know what else to say.i should rest up for my oh so fun day at work tomorrow..it will be long..and i need to make plans for tomorrow night..soon. peace guys.