August 1st, 2002 - "in need of a little slut"

no i am not talking about lack-a-tits. so here i sit...like i have all day. i was so sweaty today and i just sat in the heat like i couldn't feel it cuz of the vics...awesome. but it was kinda gross when i got up and my pants were stuck to me...ugh. i want my bong..i figured the night wouldnt be a total loss of i just got high and took a vicadin. but then i would feel like a dork for doing that shit alone..like i was some drug addict or something, which clearly i am not...i swear..but this thought came over me earlier that i would like to share with the group. ok. so for the last uh..who knows...10 years or more of my life i have been looking for a way to kill myself so it wouldnt be painful. and i hold the key to this in my hand..a bottle of vics...i would not wanna go any other way...and p.s. this is not a plea for help..i have always been suicidal and i am still here, so sit tight everyone, that is if you even cared in the first place. so i am listening to papa roach repeatedly cuz i am too lazy to change the cd. altho eminem is in my reach, i have been listening to that all day, not to mention the days before that...aim just fucking closed on me...what the fuck..i am going to restart...peace